Category Archives: grief

Grief triggers…

  Today, I encountered one. It’s pretty easy to encounter them in my line of work, actually–plenty of situations where you might find them. So there was one. But it’s not just that. It’s this time of year. This time … Continue reading

Posted in CPE, fall, grief, grief season, grieving, loss, PTSD, seasons, unwedded widow, unwedded widowhood, widow, widowhood | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

October is coming.

I know I’ve not posted for a while. I thought that once I finished my internship, I’d have time to post to my blog. Well, no. I spent the summer scrambling to get a chaplain residency, which I was able … Continue reading

Posted in CPE, grief, hospital chaplaincy, labels, loss, seasons, unwedded widow, unwedded widowhood, widow, widowhood | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Life at the hospital

I am just about to finish a nine-month hospital chaplaincy internship at a major urban hospital. This has been the main reason why my posts have fallen off so sharply. It’s one thing to be processing one’s own grief and … Continue reading

Posted in CPE, grief, PTSD | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I thought I knew you; what did I know?

I’m looking through you Where did you go?I thought I knew you What did I know?You don’t look different But you have changed I’m looking through you You’re not the same Your lips are moving I cannot hear Your voice … Continue reading

Posted in friends, grief, grieving, loss, loss of friends, reflection, rejection, sadness | 2 Comments

Thaes oferaode, thisses swa maeg–That was overcome, this also may…

My dear readers, I apologise for not writing. It has been an awful, horrible, no good, very bad fall. I’m so glad it’s over with. Every time I was about to write something, it seemed I had another assignment due … Continue reading

Posted in depression, Everybody Hurts, fall, grief, grief season, grieving, R.E.M., sadness | Leave a comment

Punchy Tips for Great Unsolicited Advice

This post was originally posted on my old blog on May 31, 2010. I still need to post something reflective about my CPE experience, but it’s still in the process of ending, so I’ll write about it once it’s fully wrapped … Continue reading

Posted in advice, DGI, grief, grieving, kazoos, silliness | 1 Comment

May is among the cruelest months.

November is the cruelest month. (Sorry, T.S. Eliot…November, not April.) That was when Nelson died. This is the month of the six-month sadiversary…this year, it’s a year and six months. Everything is counted by that. Everything. May is a heavy … Continue reading

Posted in grief, grieving, reflection, seasons, T.S. Eliot's "The Waste Land", unwedded widow, unwedded widowhood, widowhood | 3 Comments

Good news! Summer internship! Yay!

I have neglected my poor blog, and you, dear readers. But there was a reason for it, and the reason was good. The reason was that I was BUSY. Really busy. Busier than I’ve been since Nelson died and I … Continue reading

Posted in CPE, grief, grief group, hospital chaplaincy, ouch, yay | 4 Comments

Finally feeling better–at last!

It certainly took long enough! Good grief! Just an update to let ya’ll know how I am. Better. Much better. And when I compare me now to me last year, I can’t believe how much better I’m doing and how … Continue reading

Posted in grief, grieving, illness | 8 Comments

It’s been a rough month.

Really, really rough. I’m on my fourth round of antibiotics. Two of them this time, twice daily. To go all month. Still on them. And just at the point that I was starting to feel a little better, I caught … Continue reading

Posted in grief, grieving, illness | 4 Comments

Sick and tired of being sick and tired…

I am sick. I have been sick since the week after Thanksgiving. I got an infection that never really went away, and eventually turned into a kidney infection (acute pyelonephretis, for you Latin-lovers out there). If you’re wondering why I … Continue reading

Posted in grief, grieving, illness | 14 Comments

One Year…

…as of last Saturday, November 6th. I was too full of grief that weekend to post. I went up to NY for the one-year memorial service. It was good. More on that later. It’s still too fresh now… I hear … Continue reading

Posted in grief, grieving, reflection, seasons, unwedded widowhood, widow, widowhood | Leave a comment

Eleven months, and Sunday would have been our third anniversary

I look at the roses he gave me last year. I had just finished drying them. I only saved the rosebuds. I would have saved the roses entire if I’d known they were to be The Last Roses. They weren’t … Continue reading

Posted in grief, grieving, reflection, seasons, unwedded widowhood, widowhood | 3 Comments

Guilt Trippin’, across the universe…

….not in the Starship Enterprise, and there’s no Captain Kirk… Yes, I am Guilt Tripping. I’m capitalizing because this is not medium sized guilt tripping. This is Capital Letter Guilt Tripping, put you in timeout facing the corner guilt tripping….And … Continue reading

Posted in grief, home, unwedded widow, unwedded widowhood | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Things I dread…

I dread October. October 3rd was our anniversary. That weekend last year was also the last time I saw him alive. That will be 11 months’ sadiversary, one year since I saw him alive…Dread, dread, dread… Labor Day weekend was … Continue reading

Posted in grief, grieving, reflection, seasons, unwedded widow, unwedded widowhood, widow | Leave a comment

Hearts shouldn’t stop before their time

Hearts shouldn’t stop before their time;They should work properly, and do what they’re told. Folks should wait to die, for when they’re good and old;To die beforetime breaks all sense and reason.  No, They should wait, til they’re long past … Continue reading

Posted in grief, grief poem, grief poem I wrote, grieving, poem, poem I wrote, poetry, reflection, seasons, unwedded widow, unwedded widowhood, widow, widowhood | 5 Comments

The Long Sojourn

How do I get there? To the place of unmisery     To that place that isn’t    The worst of places to be–  How do I get there?Does it exist anywhere? Where’s my directions?   I’m tired; I’m tired of traveling … Continue reading

Posted in desert, grief, grief poem, grief poem I wrote, grieving, Israel in the desert, poem, poem I wrote, poetry, reflection, Sojourn, unwedded widow, unwedded widowhood, widow, widowhood, wilderness | 1 Comment

Jabberwocky’s Cousin

Beware the counterfactual hypotheticalThe jaws that bite, the teeth that snatch;Beware the jub-jub bird, and shunThe frumious bandersnatch. The counterfactual hypotheticalThat cousin to the Jabberwock–That knits a daisy chain of IfsThat trap you fast, after it stalks. It lies in … Continue reading

Posted in grief, grief poem, grief poem I wrote, grieving, poetry, reflection, unwedded widow, unwedded widowhood, widowhood | 2 Comments

at 2:04 am

help meI cannot stand itI do notknow how I standnor do Istart to understandoh GodI cannot–How?help mehelp meplease now…

Posted in grief, grief poem, grief poem I wrote, poem, poem I wrote, poetry, unwedded widow, unwedded widowhood, widow, widowhood | 5 Comments

There’s an art to loss

written 6/8/2010 There’s an art to lossThere’s an art to saying goodbyeThere’s an art toBreathe in breathe outThere’s an art to asking whyAnd there’s an art to not asking There’s an art, when the dance is all stilled,To hold and … Continue reading

Posted in grief, grief poem, grief poem I wrote, poem, poem I wrote, poetry, unwedded widow, unwedded widowhood, widow, widowhood | 2 Comments